Ain't it the truth.....

Well, the clock says it's time to close now
I guess I'd better go now
I'd really like to stay here all night
The cars crawl past all stuffed with eyes
Street lights share their hollow glow
Your brain seems bruised with numb surprise
Still one place to go
Still one place to go

Let me sleep all night in your soul kitchen
Warm my mind near your gentle stove
Turn me out and I'll wander baby
Stumblin' in the neon groves
Well, your fingers weave quick minarets
Speak in secret alphabets
I light another cigarette
Learn to forget, learn to forget
Learn to forget, learn to forget
 
Let me sleep all night in your soul kitchen
Warm my mind near your gentle stove
Turn me out and I'll wander baby
Stumblin' in the neon groves

Well the clock says it's time to close now
I know I have to go now
I really want to stay here
All night, all night, all night

It's a Grateful Day

Blues festi at waterfront in Portland!!!!

Driving down, nothing better than Grateful Dead.

Sure I feel like puking due to this pregnancy, but I'm

NOT going to let that stop me :) 

Talley ho!

You know what's funny?

I downloaded an app that plays rain for you

when you cant sleep at night......

Who needs that in Washington State?!?!?

Ah well, with this gorgeous weather......

We finally do. 

Replacement for Facebook

Wow. So I need to get off of facebook, But I still have lots of thoughts and things I feel like sharing with the world. So may as well keep writing since I have slacked on this blog for months....

Thought: Why do people order cappuccinos only to drink the liquid and leave tons of foam behind? You realize what a cap. is right? It's way less milk than a latte. Half of it is foam...on purpose.... *odd*

Thought: I saw 4 people in a row, chewing and shoving food in their mouths today while driving. Eating while on the road is NOT just a rumor...people have truly lost the art of sitting down and enjoying meals. Why can't we be like some European countries? Couple hour long lunches and then a big nap before we continue on with our day. *sigh*

Thought: Sometimes the only thing you can do, is straight up ignore someone. It's better than to argue or persuade or waste emotions and time. I just have to ignore him. And its the most difficult task. Darn.

Free flowing, ever changing, always aspired.

I am the right brain. I am creativity. A free spirit. I am passion. 

Yearning. Sensuality. I am the sound of roaring laughter. 

I am taste. The feeling of sand beneath bare feet. 

I am movement. Vivid colors. 

I am the urge to paint on an empty canvas. 

I am boundless imagination. Art. Poetry. I sense. I feel. 

I am everything I wanted to be.

shit

mehhh.

Fuck guys.

Fuck them and their sexual ways.

Why am I self destructive?

Why can't I turn them down?

He never asked for it. I kissed him as he was coming out of the bathroom. And now I'm sitting back, looking like a fool, admitting to being a rebound, and wishing I could erase it all.

Salome was right, I put him on a pedestal.

And now, theres already someone else. There is ALWAYS someone else. Just waiting around the corner. Another heartbreak, for one of us, its inevitable.  This cycle disgusts me and yet it is harder to quit than nicotine. This sexual addiction is tearing me apart. Fuck my life.

The time has come.....

Unfortunately if you do ever read this blog...its about to get REAL boring. With many a few interesting/bitchy notes about my life. But hopefully I will be a good little girl and actually update daily since...

I am going to write what I eat everyday..yay.

So far, a couple gulps of water but a good 16oz of coffee with half and half and stevia.
A gala apple and a kiwi.
More to come about lunch and dinner and snacks.

BITCHY TIME!!!
~My mom is ridiculous. Maybe she talks about me out loud downstairs JUST so I can hear the crap she's saying. She complains I never listen to her...I'M LISTENING RIGHT NOW!!!
~She wants me to be more picky with guys. I am already picky, I turn down the losers right off. Some of them are just really good at hiding the loser until later on. Not my fault.
~For instance, how was I supposed to know the last guy I was just dating had an addiction to oxy he NEVER told me about???
~And he's gone. Of course he wants to keep me as a friend. But when does that ever work? I told him no benefits and that definitely broke his Scorpio overly sexual heart. I gave him an anti anxiety pill he gave me a while back when he had a panic attack over the weekend and HE SNORTED IT. I'm yelling "Why cant you just fucking swallow it with water like a normal person??? Why do you have to nasal shoot it like a drug addict???" I told him if he had a car I'd ask him to leave. He said he'd leave if I wanted him too. But he had no where to go, so he stayed. Sheesh.

On to the interesting (good)....

*Had a lovely date seeing the Artist with my new little artsy skinny boy. He's scoring major points by a)rarely drinks alcohol b) smoked pot once and disliked it c) plays guitar and is in a band -so what if its cliche?- d) has an older and a younger sister e) lives in the sticks of camas f) art history major g) hes sexy h) doesnt give a shit about astrology -FINALLY someone who doesnt care- i) he's got a job at whole foods and hes going to school j) he actually paid for everything which is strange but my last dudes were all so poor k) HE HAS SEEN CASABLANCA! guys have never seen that. so impressed. l) he's hilarious. so funny. i laughed a plenty. m)he has both parents in his life. surprise surprise nowadays. n) he seems awkwardly physically which i am loving because i have no fears about him wanting to jump my bones. no way. his hugs were those sideways quick and stiff ones. THANK GOD. o) great conversationlist p) he has a cat. and a couple chickens. BUT HES NOT VEGETARIAN THANK GOD #2. q) and to end with the coolest letter Q, Q is for quirky because I can tell he was a loner in high school which is opposite of me and he just seems offbeat and thats what I need. I'm sick of macho men trying to prove something to me.

*Also I'm working on my abs. Again. I can do it. I swear to myself.

*Also I'm going to start making more money now that I am not taking off half an hour for lunch everyday at one of my cafe jobs. I've been shorting myself...but whatever I eat tons of shit there lol.

Happy women's day.....

Sour by the minute but youre sweeter by the hour....

Yeah I am having some trouble. I just attract unemployed men, I swear. This is the fourth one. Maybe I have the gift of grace like my dad suggested and I just draw these men into my life that need encouragement and inspiration. But its so tough on me. Of course I want to find God's true love for my life and get married. And I always here that if Im busy dating someone wrong for me, I'll miss who is right for me. But what am I supposed to do....man.....

Why oh why did my sister have to marry a pastor?? Wow, put the pressure on. I feel like I'm supposed to be with some super man of a dude and I'm scared I'm going to end up with a crazy person. But I AM crazy. How can I have standards for someone if I don't have them for myself? *sigh*