Don't call me religious.
I don't follow a list of rules, or worship some grey haired dude in some judge's seat. I don't preach at people what they should and shouldn't do. I don't attend church because I have to. I don't memorize verses just to repeat them back to someone. I don't hate on other belief systems or believe that everyone should agree with me on ideals. I do not try to save all my friends, invite them to the message with me every week, or even continually ask them "what do you need prayer for??"
I find that in fact, they like me to pray for them. It's like they don't know or don't care if God exists, but since I believe He does, 'oh hey, can you pray for me about this....?' like they still think it works and it will help them out. Which of course, I never mind. In fact, it delights me to pray for others. I just think it's ironic. People never acknowledge God unless they want something. How would that make you feel?
And then again, people focus way too much on God anyway. They forget about His Son, that He sent on this earth to talk about love, compassion, kindness, sharing, righteousness, making peace, serving, honesty, and righteousness. Jesus's words are amazing, he said things like "Are you so dull?" when He got frustrated or He overturned tables with some wrath or He called the women around Him, "Dear Woman...." or He took the time to talk to this reject slutty whore at the well. DUDE! He was a radical man.
And then, please, DO NOT call me conservative. That pisses me off worse than religious. I don't even vote, because I never see anyone worth voting for and I figure if I don't pay enough attention, I definitely shouldn't vote. And I don't pay attention because politics are never solved, but I don't waste time complaining about it either. I simply want to remain positive and focus on what I can do as a person in my life, for others, for my family and friends, to help my business succeed so I can survive. But more than survive, I want to thrive and live life fully, appreciating all things and seeing each moment as something valuable.
Back to the conservatism thing....
Just because I have a faith and a renewed connected with Jesus, Father in Heaven, and that awesome supernatural Holy Spirit, does not mean I wear granny panties and scoff at curse words. I still practice Yoga daily. I still eat extremely healthy, I'm even on a sugar fast right now and I'm trying to only drink water, 1 cup of green tea, and 2 cups of coffee a day(I could drink like 4-6 so that's a bit cut down for me lol). I burn incense and white sage frequently to make my room smell yummy, 'clearing the energy'. I have tattoos, piercings, and I ENJOY THE PAIN. I love being nude....playing guitar nude, nude yoga, nude while putting on make up and styling hair, heck I'm only in my lacy black drawers right now! I still listen to 'secular' music, have my lesbian great friend, I drank champagne with a 20 year old last week, I pleasured myself 25 minutes ago, I love the Rainbow Gathering and all it has to offer, I didn't wear a bra today, I am dreaming hardcore of dreadlocking my hair..... see, now I should just quit justifying myself, to no one, of course.
Cause who really gives a shit???
If people want to place their labels on me and try to shove me in a box, great luck with that, cause I do not do well if pressure or force. I like to break free, speak up, stand out, dance hard, sing loud, laugh louder, cry openly, and no one can take that away from me. I have become even more confident of a person because of my Abba, because I realize how much this Entity loves me, despite all the crappy things I've done, and its forgiven and forgotten, as far as the east is to the west. So I don't dwell on it either.
All those people that are so fearful of the devil, are whack. They don't realize that our God is bigger, better, faster, strong than the weasel. All those people that constantly judge others and put them down, are making the biggest mistake of their lives. We don't judge people, that God's job. We love people. That's my honest to goodness faith, summed up: Love people with the love Jesus loves me with. Serve them, honor them, delight in them. See them thru God's eyes, because He created us in His image and to be in fellowship with Him. I feel God's presence daily and I see glimpses of Heaven often. I know I have a Kingdom I'm returning to someday, but it's not just what I live for.
The healing stones, the astrology, the out of body experiences, the LSD, magic shrooms, cocaine, marijuana, tarot cards, cosmic affirmations, mantra chanting, spaced out meditation, tranced out drum circles.....man I've tried it all, I knew I should be happy because I had everything I needed or wanted, but I was still empty and my heart was still shrunken. I needed a Savior and I have one.
People say they don't feel Him, that's because they don't want to, they ignore it, because they are so afraid of giving up all the junk in their lives. I threw it all away because I was broken and humbled. I guess you kind of have to get to that point. The point where you realize all your friends just want to get messed up with you, or by you, and men just want to screw you, or use you for beer, or stare at your tits. I got sick of it all, I wanted realness and true freedom and Truth, and now I have that. How could I keep giving out love and peace, when I didn't have a source for it??? It doesn't just come out of the air. And out of myself, I was getting drained, because people are draining. God, He is not draining and He never runs dry.
Hallelujah, Jehovah Jireh, Jehovah Ralpha, Yahweh, you are the King of all Kings, I claim you are the Son of God and the Creator of the Universe. I bow before you and give myself to you and your will, my greatest desire is to please you...because it brings me true joy and peace, like I've never known before.
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